It's quiet here

 Zachary is gone to work for the night and I am so insanely bored I think I'll keep writing! Something comforting I just thought about was the fact that even though I am in way over my head in writing this and I have no idea what it takes to write a book.... at least no one is reading this. Writing here feels quiet in a way, like the internet in 2012. Since eliminating my source of external validation (Social Media) the world has gotten quieter, my creativity is peaking, and what's coming from my brain feels a bit more promising. 

Of course I am still trying to seek external validation about what I've written so far and have failed all attempts at finding a reader. (Friends are out of the question) Which is a good thing. What if I finally created something from start to finish and received no feedback, no likes, no comments, no dopamine? What if I created something for myself first? If I really want this piece to be as emotional and as raw as possible I think that is the only way. Write while no one is watching. 

Which is why I quit social media, I wanted to see what I would do while no one is watching.

So, this blog will stay quiet for now. I will continue to address my imaginary audience and write for them. One day I will show this to Zachary too, maybe he'll be my first reader. He should be, the title is about him.